Have you ever found yourself wondering why the flames of love in your marriage seem to flicker and dim over time? In Pastor Khaya Maphinda’s enlightening book, “Sustainable Marriage,” we discover the secrets to reigniting those flames and keeping them burning bright.
It’s a well-established fact that Love, as a powerful force, brings people together from diverse backgrounds, cultures, and races. Pastor Maphinda draws inspiration from biblical passages that highlight the enduring nature of love, emphasising its strength that cannot be quenched by many waters or swept away by rivers.
Identifying the challenges that often lead to fading love in marriages, Pastor Maphinda points out key factors such as unforgiveness, diminishing intimacy, conflicts, unmet expectations, grudges, and bitterness. However, he offers hope by likening the flames of love to a fire, emphasising the need for action to start and sustain them.
To sustain a marriage, Pastor Maphinda introduces the concept of being a “couple of good news.” This entails creating a love without conditions and avoiding the trap of imitating other couples’ standards. Couples are encouraged to develop and enjoy their unique love story, starting from the known to the unknown and understanding their love without societal expectations.
A future-oriented mindset is crucial for reigniting the flames, with couples focusing on exciting possibilities and nurturing the greatness within their relationship. Additionally, protecting the love from external influences is emphasised. Open communication, active listening, and addressing conflicts promptly serve as shields against the winds and rains that can extinguish the warmth built together.
In the realm of intimacy, the focus should be on deepening the connection and understanding each other’s needs. Small, thoughtful gestures become the fuel for the flames – surprise your partner with a handwritten note, a spontaneous date night, or a simple “I love you” when least expected.
Pastor Maphinda’s wisdom underscores that sustaining love is a continuous process of choosing each other, growing together, and celebrating a unique love story. As we embark on this journey, let’s commit to being a “couple of good news,” dedicated to keeping the flames of love burning bright in the fireplace of our hearts.
Pastor Khaya Maphinda is the author of three books: Marriage Encounter: Dilemmas and Delusions; A Sustainable Marriage: Build a Marriage that lasts and From Singleness to Marriage: The transitional conundrum
